Wal-Mart: All Your Needs from Cradle to Grave?

Wal-Mart has released the news of its stores now being outfitted with coffins. Just when you thought there was no more local businesses they could drive out of town, they "bury" the funeral competition.

This undertaking (pun intended) aims to be a marketing research strategy for Wal-Mart, to find out what the customer demand would be on cheap coffins. As you can see on the BBC, these coffins run under the model names "Mom Remembered" or "Dad Remembered."

The most interesting thing about this news is the last few paragraphs of the article. When interviewing a "real-live human undertaker" he submits that Wal-Marts business will fail in this arena because people value the "human contact" when it comes to planning and executing (pun not intended) their funeral services.

Now, did the jeweler say the same thing about "human contact" when it came to picking out engagement rings? Because Wal-Mart renders those services quite successfully. Did the local "Cribs N' More" baby store owner brush aside Wal-Mart when it began selling strollers and pacifiers due to lack of "human contact?"

Maybe both of these things happened. Maybe at some point we believed it was impossible for Wal-Mart to sell shoes or underwear or plumbing parts because as a large department store they lacked "human contact." The truth is, they cornered many markets, and a lack of human interaction has not seemed to slow them down.

The truth is, most people aren't looking for the human element as much as they used to. It is sad to see, but in a culture where most things are available for purchase online, we obviously don't value the face behind the counter the way we used to. (Sidenote: How long do you think we will have virtual "shopping carts" on webstores that we must "proceed to checkout." One day, a child might see that and say "Mommy, what is a shopping cart?")

Wal-Mart has set the standard now for marketing and convenience. I certainly do hope that Pat Lynch is right, that we won't outsource something as sacred to our culture as burial to corporate convenience. But the cynical side of me is skeptical (as it should be).

Wal-Mart, our souls are easier to win this side of the grave. Please let us rest in peace, and not by providing a low-cost coffin.

I hope I can be cremated before they are selling urns.